Remembering 9/11

It’s hard to believe that it’s been 20 years since the horrific attacks on our homeland. As I think back to that day and the months and years that followed, myself and my family saw that day through a different lens than many people and it had such a profound effect on my family, that my older daughter used an experience from that time in her college entrance essay.

My parents have both passed away, but my mother was born in Beirut, Lebanon in 1930. She came to America in 1946 as a college student and met my dad that same year. He was born in 1924, in Hartford, Connecticut and had just finished fighting in the U.S. Army Air Corp, stationed in the Philippines during WWII. They married in 1947 and were together until my mom passed away unexpectedly in June of 2002. They were married for 55 years, and my dad battled Alzheimer’s and passed away in 2008. My mom always said that her proudest moment, other than her children, was the day she became an American citizen. With my dad being a veteran and my mom being a Naturalized Citizen, pride in America was extremely evident in our household.

So, on Sept. 11, 2001, when I walked into my mom’s kitchen and saw her watching TV, I had never seen that particular look on her face. She had been crying and my mom was not a crier, she was a yeller, and she really perfected the yelling part. I may have had a lot to do with that, but in my recollection of my youth, I was almost angelic, you know, the perfect child, sent down from above. OK, now I can hear both my parents laughing from heaven. I was the only boy and the youngest, so you do the math. Spoiled would be an understatement. OK, back to the story. I hadn’t turned on any TVs at that point, so I was unaware of what was happening, I just know that I had never seen my mom cry while watching TV and I’ll never forget what my Dad said when he walked into the room. He was a man of very few words (I obviously took after my mom), and he just said, “bastards!”

During my time in North Carolina and here, I will have people ask me, “what kind of last name is Shabaz?” My ethnicity is Assyrian and we are Christians. Not too many people know what Assyrians are, basically because Assyria doesn’t exist anymore. Assyria dissolved in 609BC, so it’s just easier to say I’m Lebanese, which I am on my mom’s side. I have met a few people who know theology and know exactly what Assyrians are, but they are few and far between. I only bring this up because being “middle eastern” after 9/11 wasn’t easy on me, my family and especially my two daughters, who were 9 and 6 at the time. A few days after the attacks, my older daughter Kami was surrounded by a group of boys on the playground at school. She was in the fourth grade and was always very petite in size, so being surrounded by this group of boys, terrified her, especially when they started yelling at her, “this is all your fault, you did this!!!” This was elementary school, so obviously these boys were hearing this from their parents at home. Once I heard about this, you can only imagine how I reacted. All the boys were called into the office the next day and all of them were in tears. Kami wrote about that incident in her college entrance essay to The University of San Diego and she was accepted and graduated in four years, eventually becoming an RN and is now married to a Green Beret and they live overseas. She also said that she felt really good, when in high school, most of the boys in that group, ended up asking her out. She said “no” to all of them. Nobody really messed with my younger daughter Nicole, basically because from a very young age, Nicole made it clear to all her classmates that she would beat the snot out of anyone who messed with her. She’s mellowed in her 20’s, I’m glad to say.

I was born in Chicago, so I never had any serious ethnicity issues growing up in both Chicago and California, but after 9/11, I had one incident that concerned me. The day after the attacks, the newspaper I was working at was unusually quiet in the offices. Two guys from the press room came to my desk and all they said was, “we hear you’re middle eastern.” I said, “yes, I am, but I’m a Christian, born in Chicago.” They just glared at me and walked back to the press room. I will tell you that for months after that incident, I couldn’t walk to or from my car, without being hyper-aware of my surroundings. It was a terrible feeling and it showed me that no one is immune from racism or threats of violence.

Now, 20 years later, the images and videos from that day bring back all those memories and I try to not look back at those times with any anger. It was a hard time for everyone, and we all handled it differently. Days like 9/11 or Dec. 7, 1941, are days that “will live in infamy,” as President Franklin D. Roosevelt said after the attack on Pearl Harbor. Let us never forget those days, but always keep kindness and compassion in our hearts because we don’t know what battles our fellow citizens and neighbors may be fighting. No matter our differences, we are all very lucky to be living in the United States of America and I thank God every day for the blessings he has given me and my family.