NFL Pro Bowl was a farce

This weekend, I witnessed the apparent end of civilization. It actually ended on Sunday afternoon at 2pm. The NFL Pro Bowl was starting at the exact same time and that wasn’t a coincidence, it was the cause. Let me explain….

For those non-football fans, let me explain what The Pro Bowl is or was. It is basically the All-Star game for professional football. A game where the best at every position gather to play one last game a week before The Super Bowl. I haven’t watched it in years, mainly because recently (the past few years), they’ve tinkered with it so much, that it wasn’t even worth watching, but this time, it’s gone too far and for me, it signaled the end of civilization as we know it.

I started watching the game and I noticed about five minutes in, the referees were blowing the whistle to stop the play as soon as a defensive player touched the offensive player with the ball. I realized what I was watching was a game of two-handed touch football, on National TV, with professional millionaires doing the touching. Why are they even playing with pads and helmets? There was so much touching going on, Chris Hanson from To Catch a Predator” should have been the play-by-play announcer.

Look, I’m an old school fan of football. I loved the days when they were allowed to “clothesline” an opposing player and there was no “fair catch rule.” Those are some of the coolest videos to watch, in my opinion. Now, to the younger generation, I probably sound like a barbarian or some crazy King yelling, “bring me their heads!!!,” but that’s when football was fun to watch. “But it’s a safer sport now,” some will argue. My argument is “why do we care?” These are grown men who have chosen to play this sport as grown men. They started young, like here in Texas, where apparently there are tackle leagues for toddlers (I’m joking of course), but these men started playing contact football in middle school, with their parent’s blessings I may add. They went on to high school and college and eventually to the NFL. They knew the dangers and they apparently don’t care. They enjoy the millions of dollars they make, or the education they received in college, so to them, it’s worth the risk they take. Just like states that don’t have motorcycle helmet laws. Why do we want to protect a head that doesn’t want to be protected??

OK, back to the game….this was ridiculous to watch. I used the word pathetic repeatedly as I yelled at my television. I was texting my friends and family, posting on social media, asking people, “what the heck???” This game has become the equivalent of the Lingerie Football League, a league where female models run around playing an actual game of football in their bra and panties. For me, that game would have actually been more enjoyable to watch.

The NFL has changed so many rules for the worse, that now, a player can barely touch a quarterback’s helmet and he’ll get called for “roughing the passer.” Former players like, Dick Butkus, Jack Del Rio, Ken Norton Jr., to name a few, must be sitting at home watching these games and just laugh at the new definition of “roughing the passer.” Eventually, The Pro Bowl will stop keeping score, because God-forbid we hurt these poor millionaires feelings. You see, then they’d have to suffer the degradation of witnessing a losing score, you know, because it hurts us fans to see our rich professional athletes emotionally sad.

To me, this all started many years ago with “participation trophies.” When I told my Dad that I wanted to win a trophy, he said, “well, get outside and practice.” When my grown daughters first started coming home with trophies for just showing up, they had enough pride to know not to show them off. They were buried somewhere in their closets, and they only displayed trophies they actually won. How soft do we need to get as a society? How fragile do we need to make our kids and grandkids? They are being sent out into a world that doesn’t think they’re special like you do and doesn’t care if their feelings are hurt, like you do.

But we’ve been coddling them for so long, that eventually they’ll end up embarrassing themselves on National TV during a twohand touch football game with other grown men during a game that used to be for gladiators. I can’t wait for the 2023 NFL Pro Bowl, sponsored by Hostess Cupcakes.