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Annie Lane
Dear Annie: I have been married to my husband for over 50 years. While we are physically unable to have sexual relations due to several health factors, I'm not missing it. Why? Because he has terrible hygiene practices and the biggest is not brushing his teeth enough. He has horrible halitosis now.
I can barely manage to travel short distances in the car with him. He likes to listen to music, but in the car, he whistles to it. He's always unaware that when he does this, I put my hand over my nose and mouth, and direct the AC vents up toward him to help blow it away. He angers easily and gets insulted when I suggest he brush more and use mouthwash. I know if he tried to be more diligent regarding his breath, I would want to have some cuddle-up time.
He reads the newspaper cover to cover, so I'm hoping he will recognize himself and make some adjustments — not just for me, but for us.
— Wishing I Could
Talk to Him
Dear Wishing: After 50 years of marriage, there shouldn't be anything you can't say to your spouse. Instead of confronting him in an accusatory way, make sure to come from a place of kindness and concern. Let your husband know that you care about him and want to make sure, most importantly, that he's taking care of himself. It's not the easiest conversation to have but assure him that he shouldn't be embarrassed. At the end of the day, you simply have his best interest at heart.
Dear Annie: What is the proper etiquette for paying the bill at restaurants while dining out with in-laws?
My daughter is married to a wonderful man who is from a large family. He has three brothers who are all married with several children each. My daughter is our only one. There are times when I attend dinners with this wonderful family, but I'm not sure what to do when the bill comes. There are 15 of them and only one of me (but five of them are mine, too, being my daughter and her family).
I have offered to help out with the bill several times, but they have taken care of it before I can get my wallet out. What should I do next time I am invited to their family dinners? I don't want to be thought of as taking advantage of their generosity.
— Not a Cheapskate
Dear Not a Cheapskate: I'm confident your in-laws don't think anything of the sort. Likely, they've taken it upon themselves to reach for the bill because they realize how many more of them there are than you. Before the next family meal, take one of your son-in-law's parents aside to express your gratitude and see how you can contribute for your portion before the check comes. I'm sure they will appreciate your mindfulness.