Book Review: A Field Guide to Monsters
Googly-Eyed Wart Floppers, Shadow-Casters, Toe-Eaters and Other Creatures
By TERRY MATHEWS | News-Telegram Arts Editor
Sept 7, 2007 - These days, my opportunites to share great children’s books are limited. My 27 year-old son is so over storytime. I have no grandchildren and my nephews are in high school. My husband spends all day listening to his students read out loud.
A Field Guide to Monsters: Googly-Eyed
By Johan Olander
When “A Field Guide to Monsters” landed on my desk last week, I was happy to once again read something light, bright and everso creative.
The publicity packet included with the book says the author is “a firm believer in monsters and will trust any report of monster sightings until proven false.”
It takes a very active imagination and a mind open to all possibilities to write truly engaging children’s stories. Face it. The Brothers Grimm already have a patent on the most popular plot lines. This encyclopedia of scary things that lurk under beds, in closets and bathtubs is a bright and fresh addition to adolescent literature.
With this book, young readers will “learn about monster habitats, life cycles, and how to avoid the most dangerous creatures; see historical evidence of monster sightings; read about chilling monster encounters; and find out how to become a monsterologist, too.”
Olander teaches us the importance of having the right tools when on a monster hunt and how to go about stalking and finding new species.
Olander says it’s helpful to have an old sheet or blanket and to cut holes for your eyes in the blanket so “you can see out while remaining covered.”
He says “many monsters have a sensitive sense of smell, so using cloves or potpourri can be used to mask your human scent.”
The very first monster Olander chronicles is the Balloonseter (bulla inflatus). Balloonster consumes gas of any kind, even plain air and is not aggressive or dangerous.
No safety measures are necessary when encountering a Balloonster.
Not so with the Corner Cat (felis angulosa). You’ll need rubber galoshes or leather boots to protect your ankles from Corner Cat bites, since the creature is a specialist in “lightning fast sneak attacks and can cause grave injuries to small children.”
According to Olander, there is no need to be afraid of the Domestic Dust-Devil (sarcinula diaboli domestica), even though he has distinguishing features that include “limbs full of barbs that catch dust bunnies and other prey.” Olander reminds us that the Dust-Devil’s natural enemy is the vacuum cleaner.
Olander warns of the dreaded Flesh-Eating Tub Frog (rana labrum carnivora). “This creature eats human flesh, soap and bath products. It also loves fruit- and bubble-gum scented bubble bath.”
Although the Flesh-Eating Tub Frog is very rare, be careful if you find one of the hop toads in your bath. “If you find one, there are often many more.”
Monster-X (monstrosaurus rex) seems to prefer children with few friends. They’re vegetarians, so it’s safe to hang with them. However, they are candy thiefs. They reproduce by laying eggs, which can usually be found in abundance during the month of April.
Olander takes a close look at the care and feeding of other scary beasts, such as Wearms, Two-Toed Jumping Rats, Snouted Grabbers and Hangers. Olander, who is also an illustrator, adds clever drawings to explain some of the monsters’ peculiarities.
Olander’s insight into the creatures and their habitants is just delightful, although not for the faint of heart.
Editor’s note: The publisher has set the age guidelines from 9-12. You might want to push that up a year or so if your youngster is squeamish about guts, gore and things that go bump in the night.
